While I do have a list of things I want to write about, I found this project over at Insatiable Desire and thought it looked like a fun little side addition to the blog.
So, to begin:
Day 1: Dom, sub, switch? What parts of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.
First- Dom, sub, or switch? I'm so sub it hurts sometimes. I do have moments where I can appear switch-like, but there is always a submissive undertone to them. For example: I would just absolutely love to sit P. down in his chair and tie his wrists up with scarves. Then I would tell him that he can speak all he would like but cannot lay a finger on me until I say so. After he agrees to this, I would start with a long, slow strip tease that would end with me completely naked in his lap. Throughout this there would be continuous reminders that no- he cannot touch me. I think I'd rub myself in his lap until I squirt all over him- or maybe I'd just get myself really, painfully close to doing so. Then, and only then, would I release him from his binds and give him permission to touch me.
Sounds like a dom thing to do, doesn't it?
But the goal is not to restrain him and teach him self control. In fact, the goal of this would be to make him lose his self control. When those scarves come off of his wrists, the hope is that he'd jerk up from the chair and carry me to the bed (if we even make it that far!) where he would proceed to hold me down and ravish me senseless in a show of pure and utter dominance over me.
I'd have to sort of switch to get there because my partner is not a strong dom. Our relationship is an interesting one. He does not tell me what to do- he makes suggestions on what he would like because he knows I will do them because he wants me too. He wants an intelligent woman to choose to do things for him because she wants to, and I want to. I have to remind him that no- I'm not acting out of pure subservience, but that I want to do these things.
And because he is not a strong dom, he is opposed to a lot of the more serious bdsm aspects. He will not tie me up with rope (because it looks uncomfortable. Tch.), he will not hit me any more than a light spanking. He will not pin me beneath him and hold me down and make me squirm until I just can't take it anymore.
But sometimes, I'd like him to. So if I have to tease him to the point where he can't take it any more to get to him ravishing me senseless, then by God I'm going to do so.
I want that dominance. I give him such total control over me, in many aspects of our life. He's just very particular about how he chooses to use this, which can be both a blessing and a curse.
What parts of BDSM interest you?
I've always been particularly interested in rope bondage, which is unfortunately something P. does not want to do with me. I read something ages ago that described rope bondage as "weaving lines to create art upon a living thing that is both beautiful and restrictive". That description stuck with me, and the idea always held a certain magic to me.
I fantasize about being immobilized on a pleasure giving device. I don't want to be subjected to degradation. I don't want to be spit on or called a slut. These things would stick with me in a bad way.
But I wouldn't mind a little orgasm control. (I'd actually like a whole lot of that. I can easily get off just from him telling me to do so, but he does not take advantage of this.) I'd like a little more pain-play, because I'm (slightly?) masochistic and want to safely explore that particular side of me.
(P., if you are reading this, that means hit me harder.)
Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.
I am an incredibly kinky person. Sometimes I think more than P. knows. I like having this sort of outlet. With the past I've had, I have incredible trust issues and it means a great deal to me to be able to submit so completely to someone and know I'm safe.
Even with four fingers buried deep inside me, when it starts to get a bit too much, if he wanted to put in another finger I'd let him because I know he's going to take care of me and I want him to push my limits.
I am taken care of in an entirely new, different, wonderful way. I choose to do the things he enjoys because it makes him happy, and it makes us both happy. I choose, as a healthy person of (relatively) sound mind to follow his suggestions because I know he knows what's best for me and he will make me a better person.
Yes, sometimes I wish he'd grab my hair. Sometimes I wish he'd spank me hard enough to leave bruises. Sometimes I wish he'd say things like "You can't cum unless I tell you too".
But deep down I like knowing that it is always a choice, not an order and the things I do are the things I choose to do because I enjoy them, not because he is making me do them. I am a sub, not a slave, and honestly?
I wouldn't have it any other way.
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